girl

dalena | 25 | counting fancies
fmps/rgps/nygh/rjc/smu (biz)
a dancer with mosaic
working at the learning lab
4th feb 1986
dalena@gmail.com
clearing out her wardrobe


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adeline
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pink is the new blog
postsecret
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tomorrow.sg
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
10:17 pm

Painful decisions.

I think it was the right thing for me to do, regardless of all the hesitation that I'd been struggling to conceal under the many layers of sunny smiles and breezy days. Leaving makes me sad, of course, but yet I felt this overwhelming sense of relief the moment I said it out aloud. There was this sense of finality that reduced me into a useless, blubbering mess of tears - but now I feel much better than I have in days, or even weeks and months. It took alot of courage to make this strategically timed decision, when everything seems so close yet so far, but well, I've done it, and that's that.

Next step forward? I don't know yet. I'm still this lost soul drifting around lazily in life, hoping to someday discover my calling, my purpose. Too idealistic of me? Perhaps. But the thing is I'm so tired of listening to account after account of the jaded, tired adults regarding work and life. You can tell me: "Work is like that - you'll tire after awhile, you'll never really find that calling you're searching for," but ultimately you'll have to let me go to plunge headfirst into different pools before I find the one that I like and want to stay in. If I get burnt, so be it, I'll stand up and try again and find out for myself if the world is really as cynical and harsh as they painted it to be.

Afterall, people always say experience is what that matters, and every little experience in our lives are individual little lessons as well. Eddie said that experiences, no matter how terrible or short, are never wasted - the only waste occurs when we don't draw and treasure what we'd learnt from them. How true, how true.

Now I'm dreading yet looking forward to Friday, when I will step out of my safe little cubicle in BT and go back into the world to brave all that awaits for me. Out to liberation, out of my comfort zone, to seek for my passion in life - a job that I can eagerly wake up and look forward to every morning, a job that gives me that often-sought-for spring in my step.

Hello, my future, I'm taking one step closer towards you. :)

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