girl

dalena | 25 | counting fancies
fmps/rgps/nygh/rjc/smu (biz)
a dancer with mosaic
working at the learning lab
4th feb 1986
dalena@gmail.com
clearing out her wardrobe


wordplay

adeline
amanda
amelia
beatrice
boons
chiew
colin
cordelia
daphne
eileen
eric & serene
felicia
gillian
haihan
jamie
jayne
jianfu
jill
joanne claire
marc
mark
miche
qiqi
sam
sheila
shuwen
sze
weiming
winnie heng
winnie png
yaxin
yvonne

destinations

desktop tower defence
dollmaker
gssq
go fug yourself
hollyjean
kenny sia
mr brown
oh no they didn't
orisinal
photohunt
pink is the new blog
postsecret
the butterfly tales
the superficial
tomorrow.sg
xiaxue

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layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: ohhspontaneityy
stocks: _excentric_
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Monday, September 12, 2005
12:49 am

I'm such a fool.


I've put all my eggs into the proverbial basket, and now the only basket that I have on hand has been ripped at the bottom. All I can do is watch helplessly as the eggs fall out, one after another out of the hole, smashing into messy bits on the cold concrete ground.

Everytime I get lulled into a false sense of security, I invariably end up doing something stupid because I think I'm invulnerable and strong. But when things seem too good to be true, they ARE too good to be true.

But at the end of the day, I always find myself immersed in regrets. I'm not as strong, as independent, as wise and sensible as I thought I was. I might be just a few months away from the first digit of my age hitting the dreaded two, but I'm no closer to being an adult than I was a year ago from now. I'm essentially still very much the clumsy child, bumping into various objects, falling down, picking myself up and repeating the cycle over and over again.

Thus is the process of growing up, the process of learning in life.

I still have a long, long way to go. The question is whether I should walk alone. On one hand, the irrational part of me is terrified of loneliness and yearns for some constancy and company in my life. On the other, I have grown to understand that the only person you can truly always count on to be there, whom you can depend wholly on at all times - that person is yourself and nobody else.

It's a painful realization that I've taken far too long to grasp.