girl

dalena | 25 | counting fancies
fmps/rgps/nygh/rjc/smu (biz)
a dancer with mosaic
working at the learning lab
4th feb 1986
dalena@gmail.com
clearing out her wardrobe


wordplay

adeline
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beatrice
boons
chiew
colin
cordelia
daphne
eileen
eric & serene
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haihan
jamie
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jianfu
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joanne claire
marc
mark
miche
qiqi
sam
sheila
shuwen
sze
weiming
winnie heng
winnie png
yaxin
yvonne

destinations

desktop tower defence
dollmaker
gssq
go fug yourself
hollyjean
kenny sia
mr brown
oh no they didn't
orisinal
photohunt
pink is the new blog
postsecret
the butterfly tales
the superficial
tomorrow.sg
xiaxue

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layout: detonatedlove♥
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
6:50 pm

So we sailed away.


When life has always sailed smoothly in the direction you want it to, you wouldn't know how to fight the sudden storm when it strikes and pushes you astray, away from your intended destination. Being too used to just lounging around on the deck of your lavishly decorated boat (with sparkling champagne on the table, adorned with ruby-red roses), attended to at all times without having to lift a finger, when things don't go your way regardless of how much you whine, stomp, pout, plead...you end up lost, not knowing how to deal with obstacles that spring up along the course of your voyage. You can throw as many fits as you like - not that you haven't tried - but there're some things that you just have to accept and deal with. Nature listens to no one - threaten the sea, the storm, the winds as much as you like - it will still prevail.

That's how I feel now - helplessly adrift in the sea that gnashes as it swells, changing from a forbidding green to a murky shade of blue, so dark it is almost black, as the storm gets fiercer, more intense. My little boat (painted a pearly white with turquoise trimmings that gleam brightly) is tossed around like an abandoned ragdoll among the waves, and it scares me. I'm feeling sea-sick. I want to get onto dry land. I'm terrified that it'll break - then we'll plunge to the watery depths together, my boat and I.

--

It's strange how I can be surrounded by dozens of people, smiling, laughing, chatting merrily like there's nothing more to life than having fun, yet feel so alone all the same. It almost seems like the more people there are, the more alone I feel.

--

I don't want much, I just don't want to be stranded alone in this endless blue sea. Perhaps I'm just not made to drift from place to place like I always thought I was, perhaps I should find a comfortable spot to hurl an anchor down at and make it my home.

Maybe surrounded by/A million people I/Still feel all alone/I just wanna go home

I just wanna go home.