girl

dalena | 25 | counting fancies
fmps/rgps/nygh/rjc/smu (biz)
a dancer with mosaic
working at the learning lab
4th feb 1986
dalena@gmail.com
clearing out her wardrobe


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Sunday, January 01, 2006
6:05 pm

Hello, 2006.


The thing about 2005 is that it should have been a moderately nondescript year, what with turning the horribly obscure age of nineteen and the eight full months of break away from school. At least, I'd expected it to be a chill-out year, set aside for me to kick my legs back and relax after breaking away from the hassles of the A levels, a period of just hanging loose before I have to grapple with the evil clutches of college.

Well, 2005 was anything but that.

It turned out to be arguably the most meaningful year of my short nineteen years of existence so far. Yes, I was no longer subjected to a regimented schedule of school and work, leaving me with a lot more spare time to do whatever I liked. It also left me with a lot of time to experiment - or rather, indulge in some trial and error - and basically reflect on my life and who I want to be.

Someone once told me, that at this stage in life, our formative years are already over. No longer are we angsty teenagers figuring out who we are - this is the time for us to do some self-reflection, to look at ourselves and see what ought to be changed or not. Is this the way I really want to live my life? Is this the person I really want to be? What better time is there for me to find those answers, but now?

What did 2005 mean to me? Too much.

January, settling into SPH, adapting to the world of professionalism and grown-ups. Never have I wished more that I were a kid again. / February, turning nineteen, quiet celebrations and pebbles in the snow. A sudden departure from the world - a fountain of tears. / March, A level results released. A week of spring break, and 9 champagne-pink long-stemmed roses that led into two months of sweetness. / April, leaving BT, filled with trepidation about college applications and interviews. / May, free from work, but skidding hopelessly out of control down a forbidden path. Guilt. Lots of it. / June, still playing with fire - though with decreasing confidence of emerging unscathed at the end of it all. / July, emotional torture. Juggling is a tiring job. / August, school starts, month of farewells, more at peace with myself - immersed in temporary bliss. / September, things unravel, flowers wither, and Friday girl dies. / October, parties, parties, parties...and the start of the salsa addiction. / November, living in a pressure cooker. Exams, bad news, indecisiveness - thankfully, every cloud has its silver lining. / December, I fell in love.

2005 has come and gone, let us welcome the new year that will be here to stay for a brief while. So - goodbye, 2005, and hello, 2006 - I can't wait to see what surprises you have in store for us!