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Thursday, December 28, 2006
12:02 pm

2006's xmas fancies.

Recounting the Christmas countdown - the eve of this year's Christmas was spent at Tzeming's house, at a post-dinner mingling party with lots of wine and logcake to go around for all. Mm. Look at the cute strawberry tree set up at the table, with a scarlet poinsettia set at its side. Too bad the tree was already half-eaten by the time I reached there, if not it definitely would have made a prettier picture.

After the wee hours of the night had claimed most of the guests, the remaining few of us climbed into the warm jacuzzi in the backyard - the moment I've been waiting for! I've been wanting to use the jacuzzi for the longest time, but never had the chance to due to various reasons (like a lazy, sun-fearing exboyfriend and things like that). It was nice! And bubbly! And warm! And extremely, extremely shiok. In fact, there is no other word but shiok that is more apt to describe the feeling of luxuriating in the steamy waters, a warm glow cast upon our damp faces by the muted light as we lounged about with bowls of cherries and chips, and glasses of red wine in our hands.

I told Tzeming that I'd definitely be going back to visit him more often (read: invade the jacuzzi) in the future. I think Miche will willingly come with me. Hah.

Christmas day itself was spent at home, and the night, at Union Square to stop my dancing from deteriorating even further due to lack of practice. I am getting so rusty I can't believe it. USQ felt so foreign; yet somehow so familiar, as I stepped through the door and saw the faces that I used to see all the time but haven't seen for almost the whole month. I'm glad I went though - yay to a catch up supper with Gupson and the rest, presents from HC and Gloria, and of course there were the candycanes from Clarence!

It's been ages since I last received a candycane, really. I suppose that is part and parcel of growing old - people stop giving you candy because they automatically assume that you'd have grown out of it and think it too childish. But hey, I suppose to the salsa bunch, we're still little kids - the baby of the group until the years snatch our youths out of our hands.

Somehow, this year's Christmas didn't feel as lonely as I was afraid it'd be. Being perpetually busy and surrounded by the people who matter helps a great deal, I must admit. Despite all the "yay it's Christmas soon!" exclamations and squeals of delight over the prospect of Christmas presents, a part of me was watching the approach of the festive season with some degree of apprehension. I was afraid that the entire brave front I was putting forward to the world in the last five months have only been that - a front, and nothing else, and I was afraid that it would crack in the face of Christmas coming. Thankfully, it didn't, which made me wonder whether the front has morphed into reality, somehow escaping my notice, or if it is not just a brave front but also a Very Strong Front for the world to see.

While I was watching the minutes and seconds tick by before midnight approached on the 24th, there were so many thoughts running around in my head. It suddenly felt all too bizarre. I was counting down to Christmas in Tzeyi's house but he wasn't there. I was there because of Tzeming, not Tzeyi - the whole concept seems rather warped to me still, and it probably sounds as weird to everybody else looking in from the outside - but I felt quite at home despite logic pointing out the oddness of the situation to me, which is what really matters, I guess.

In a way, I didn't know what to expect to feel; nor what to expect at all. Recollecting last Christmas - I suppose I was expecting to spend this year's very differently. Similar to last year's, perhaps, but Fate decided to do a little jig and take a twist of its own, and ta-dah I suddenly found myself single and surprised somewhere along the course of this year. I have lamented it too many times (why didn't things work out, etc etc), and I have also resented it greatly; but I have now finally realized that a twist is not necessarily a bad thing. I suppose everything happens (or does not happen) for a reason. Besides, if everything always turned out the way we'd expected it to be, life would be absolutely predictable. How boring.

Anyhow, Christmas may be over but that doesn't entitle me to dampen everybody's mood with such dreariness. All I shall say now is that I hope he had as good a time as I did over Christmas in Bangkok. And of course, not to be selfish, I hope everybody else has had a great Christmas too. Cheers. :)

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